


no more

by jaedori



Series: my mind goes blank when i'm with you [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Doyoung is only mentioned, Dr. Taeil cuz y not, Established Relationship, JaeYong - Freeform, Jaehyun is still an angel, M/M, Mark is mentioned - Freeform, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, no exit part 2, nurse winwin, sweeter than the first one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-09-25 03:39:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17113754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaedori/pseuds/jaedori
Summary: Jaehyun heard Taeyong says he loves him nineteen times, nonstop, no pauses, repeatedly. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love—and then the doorbell rang.---





	1. the repetition

Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still, not knowing how to deal with a panicking Taeyong—the latter’s legs are shaking, tears are rapidly flowing as if there is a pool of negative emotion swirling on his boyfriend’s eyes, shoulder is crumbling making him look a little smaller than he really is. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still, afraid and wary of the fact that he can give his boyfriend another reason to prolong the breakdown, scared to give the agonizing voices to not stop. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still, quietly crying, silently acting as an abandoned needed shield. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still and contemplates about seeing how painful it is that the tormenting repetitive voices can shatter Taeyong in a manner he can never understand. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still. And waits. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

 

When the sobbing stopped, the younger took a deep sigh. Silently thanking whoever is up there for finally letting Taeyong out of his miserable bubble. He counted and waited for a few more seconds before plopping down and sitting beside Taeyong. Thirteen seconds. Normally, Taeyong will take longer than that but his boyfriend makes sure to stay consistent with the counting and everything. Thirteen. Taeyong seems to adore odd numbers, he noticed. Thus, whenever things happen he always make sure to keep things odd, just the exact way Taeyong would like. He carefully made his way to pat his boyfriend’s slumped down shoulder only to be met with the dark obsidian eyes that he always get lost into. It was melancholic. The view is. Taeyong looks lost as well. Looks like he’s in an unfamiliar club with drunk loud raging people dancing around him. Jaehyun looked away for a moment. The kitchen is as clean as it was. There is an uncut onions near the counter. The knife is a few meters away from the two of them. A gentle reminder of harm, pain and possible danger lurking.

 

"Jaehyun." The voice is hoarse, probably from the little breakdown earlier. Jaehyun turned his eyes towards Taeyong again. The corner of his eyes is red and swollen, as if he had used too much force in wiping his tears. The dried tears left a path that will never be among Taeyong's favorite though. It is rugged. As if an artist messily drew a line just because he feels like ruining a masterpiece. Jaehyun's heart break at that.  Taeyong does not deserve this. This whole mess. This whole thing.

 

"Hyung." He called out while using the usual calm, dimpled, soothing voice of his. It works like magic. It makes the voices stop. Taeyong told him. Once. Twice. Thrice. Like a perfect mantra that helps hush the voices in his head. _It helps me a lot. I love hearing your voice. It calms me a lot. You are perfect. It helps me a lot. I love hearing your voice. It calms me a lot. You are perfect. It helps me a lot. I love hearing your voice. It calms me a lot. You are perfect. It helps me a lot. I love hearing your voice. It calms me a lot. You are perfect. It helps me a lot. I love hearing your voice. It calms me a lot. You are perfect._

 

"I love you." Taeyong suddenly blurted out looking straight into Jaehyun's deep brown eyes. A line could be drawn. Straight. No muddled path. The older realized that saying those words feels extremely easy. So he did what his heart tells him to do. "I love you." He repeated. This time, with more emotion. With less frightened tone, less shaking, less wariness but with more developed devotion. "I love you." He repeated. Like breathing. It comes off easy. He should have told Jaehyun this before. "I love you." He repeated. Like the sun just threw out the warmest ray at him, making him shine through every path of the unknown. "I love you." He repeated. With a firmer conviction evident in his voice. "I love you." Without other noises. It's just him. Breathing and his heart beating. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you." He said. No pauses.  No gaps. No time for Jaehyun to reply.

 

To say that Jaehyun was taken aback is an understatement. He is definitely beyond confused but hearing it felt surreal. He smiled at the thought. It's been five months since they started dating, three weeks since they first kissed and a night since they agreed to spend the night in a single bed. Odd. Odd. Odd. Odd. He grabbed Taeyong's shaking hands. Held it close to his heart and his oh-so-honest-eyes meet his lover's unwavering gaze. It was electrifying. In a good lovely way that's doing magic in his heart. He smiled again. Dimples showing. "Hyung. I love you too."

 

The younger replied as the silence grappled Taeyong's mind, he realized one thing. Jaehyun's reply is a music to his ears contrast with the deafening shouts and tickings. "I love you, Jaehyun-ah."

 

"One more."

 

"Uhhm?" Taeyong hummed not really getting where Jaehyun is coming. "What do you mean?"

 

"Tell me you love me again."

 

"I love you." Perhaps, his word is sweet and bright but his boyfriend's sincerity and the fact that he forgot that he only told him he loves him eighteen times. Even. Not odd. Not the way he used to like it. Jaehyun does not want to point that out, knowing that it could trigger the voices so he beamed. Proud that somewhere, somewhere deep in Taeyong’s mind there is a space for even things.

 

Jaehyun's smile could rival the sun. That's a fact. Looking at the way his eyes crinkle and twinkle. Crinkle and Twinkle. Crinkle and Twinkle. Crinkle and Twinkle. Crinkle and Twinkle. Crinkle and Twinkle. Crinkle and Twinkle. Taeyong knows how much he loves his smile. Not even the country’s best toothpaste commercial model could beat this neat dimpled bright smile of his boyfriend. It is easy to love Jaehyun. And it is easier to tell him that. As easy to proudly say that Jaehyun’s smile is his favorite. _I love him a lot. I love him a lot. I love him a lot. I love him a lot. I love him a lot. I love him a lot. I love him a lot. I love him a lot. I love him a lot. I love him a lot. I love him a lot. I love him a lot._

 

With his heart beating and his mind fuzzy with the sweet confession they shared, Jaehyun leaned down to kiss Taeyong’s forehead.

 

\---

 

Sometimes Jaehyun just stands still, like a statue just waiting for a massive earthquake to finally crush him and destroy him in the most inhumane way possible. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still, as if Taeyong won't be able to sense him the minute he enters the scene. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still replaying the messy confession of their first shared ‘I love you’ _s_.

 

“Hyung.” He greeted Taeyong, smiling at the way the black shirt hugs his boyfriend’s thin frame. The contrast of the color with his flesh must be a sinister waiting to be raveled. It should be illegal, Jaehyun thought. Looking this great. Black. He suddenly looked back to the first time Taeyong asked him out. He chuckled. Lee Taeyong and his obsession with black shirt. “You look extra adorable wearing that. Though I personally prefer the pink hoodie I gave you for your birthday last year.”

 

“Shut up Jaehyun.” Taeyong laughed remembering the dread written on his face when he first saw the pastel colored wardrobe in his closet. He freaked out seeing a bright colored hoodie sitting beside his dark gloomy black ones. It took five kisses from Jaehyun for him to stop freaking out and three exchanges of I love you _s_ for him to finally be convinced to wear it on his birthday.

 

“What? You look good in colors.”

 

“Are you gonna tell me that sweet shit about me bringing colors to your dull world?” He teased but the luck of flirting really wasn’t on his side when Jaehyun replied. “Nope. In fact, I bring those colors to your monochrome. Not the other way around.”

 

“Yeah you’re right.”

 

“You’ve brought me black and white and constants. You’ve brought voices to my world. That’s what you gave me.” Jaehyun said. Soothing voice, dimples, twinkling eyes present. Taeyong grabbed the nearest shirt he can find and threw it right on the younger’s face. “Shut up.” Then he ran out of the bedroom. “Just help me prepare dinner, Mark is coming over.”

 

“It’s eight in the evening why can’t we just order take-out?” He heard Jaehyun shout from the room but he heard the shuffling of the seats so he knows that his boyfriend is already getting up.

 

“Stop lazing around my room Jung. Need I remind you about the ugly first impression you made for my brother? Minhyung called you a walking bread.” Then he giggled. Cutely. Sweetly. _The first time Taeyong saw him. He saw the map of the world in Jaehyun's eyes. A world without darkness. A world where he is safe from the constant unbearable shouts, vulgar voices and incredulous pain. Wow, a beautiful world planted right in front of him. ~~How lovely was that?~~_ How beautiful was that?


	2. the step

Sometimes Jaehyun just stands still but there are times that he does not stay unmoving. There are some circumstances that his brain just suddenly starts commanding him to do something. Something. Something. Something. Sometimes Jaehyun just stands still but there are times that he does not. Inching closer and kissing Taeyong first. Not letting the deafening voices, ugly cries and horrifying shouts distract his boyfriend from whatever narrative and moment they are having. Sometimes he thinks impulsively and just grabs Taeyong by the indulgent curve of his neck or by his chiselled pink pink cheeks. Softly. Savouring and tasting every corner of his mouth, as if he's trying to erase the upcoming roll of complaints with his tongue.

Sometimes, Jaehyun is selfish. In a way that he does not think. Does not wait. Does not think. Does not wait. Does not wait. Does not think. Does not wait. Does not wait. Does not think. Does not wait. Does not wait. Does not think. Does not wait. Does not wait. Does not think. Does not wait. Does not wait. Does not think. Does not wait. Does not wait. Does not think. Does not wait. Does not wait. Does not think. Does not wait. Sometimes, he let himself be damned, be drowned and be affected with Taeyong's distraught. But there are days that he just muffles Taeyong's cries with his soothing voices, deep love and peppered kisses.

“It’s alright. The doctor says we’re good.”

“No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. We’re not good. I’m not getting better.”

Jaehyun grabbed Taeyong’s hand. Tenderly. Gently. Just like his little pecks and kisses. He smiled at the sight of his boyfriend’s bare hands. No gloves this time. Intertwined it with his much bigger ones. Providing the latter with enough comfort and warmth. “Dr. Moon said that as the session goes there will be more triggers but you’re doing great hyung.”

“But Jaehyunie, I---“

“Sssh.” He hushed while rubbing soothing circles at Taeyong’s palm. Clockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Counterclockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. “There will be more guilt, doubt and episodes of never ending voices. But I promise you. We’ll get through this.”

“Together?”

“Always.” Jaehyun replied. It was a roller coaster ride of emotion every time he is with his boyfriend and this specific moment isn’t an exception. It is still the bumpy road of fast moving ups and downs but he is certain that he is more than willing to ride this fearful excitement again. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Alwa--- Always together.

Taeyong’s eyes are shaped beautifully. With the way it hugs and overpowers his other facial features in a nostalgic manner of a bittersweet element. If Jaehyun would pick out his favorite eyes from the crowd of beauties. It would always be definitely Taeyong’s. They speak silence. Like a daisy quietly glooming and inaudibly blooming in a chaotic black mud. It’s impossible. But it happened anyway. His brown beautiful orbs are always with no commotion: they are peaceful, relaxed and even undisturbed by the fleeting rough shouts from Taeyong’s mind. Maybe it was his favorite because of that reason alone. Because it is the only thing that separates Taeyong with the constant loud ticking of the invisible clocks. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. Tic toc. But his eyes remain the lovely embodiment of serene. Jaehyun tightened his hold on Taeyong’s bare hand. Speaking unspoken words, confessions and singing sweet muted love songs through his eyes. Hoping to convey everything that he bottles inside. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still. And sometimes, he looks at his favorite doe eyes. Sometimes, he gets lost there as well.

“Kiss me again.”   
“Kiss me again.”  
“Kiss me again.”  
“Kiss me again.”  
“Kiss me again.”  
“Kiss me again.”

Six. Even. A baby step from the mountainous improvement that is yet to come. Jaehyun cutely chuckled, shying away from the paradise of emotion that is Taeyong’s eyes. He is enthusiastic about the yellow tomorrows and the juggled constants but obliged to the request nonetheless. Ignoring the incredulous look of the people around them and the vulgar complaints from the pregnant mother just wanting to get her usual morning cheap vending machine coffee. Taeyong was surprised that the kiss this time isn’t just usual sweet soft lip touching lip. Instead, the younger tried to deepen it. He smiled. His eye smiled. His heart drummed.

It’s eight in the morning and the much louder voices in his mind can choke and go back to sleep.

\---

Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still. Waiting for Taeyong to get out of the white bleached doors of Dr. Moon’s office. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still. Nervously fidgeting and constantly checking his phone, waiting for something or someone to distract him away from his lurid concerns. Maybe Mark can text him and ask him to accompany him to the café just a few blocks away from the hospital because that’s what they always do when his boyfriend’s younger brother decides to tag along. Maybe Doyoung can send him the notes from yesterday’s meeting so he can review it and get his mind away from the anxiety about today’s session. Dr. Moon specifically told him that it will be a bit more _chaotic_ than usual, Jaehyun didn’t know what the psychologist meant by that but he is beyond nervous for his boyfriend. He had been there through Taeyong’s ugliest breakdown and he’s not entirely sure if that sight is something his mind can replay. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still. With his hands on his pocket. Holding his phone. Checking the time. Sometimes, he silently prays as well. Or sometimes, he tries to remember the animated movie Taeyong is fond of. Inside Out. It is really funny hearing that despite being black and white most of the times, his boyfriend is in love with an animated movie of colors. The spectrum of the color yellow in Taeyong’s eyes whenever the bob haired pixie came into the screen is one of his favorite sights. Sometimes, someone calls him out of his reverie.

His train of thoughts was stopped when he heard someone calling him. It was Nurse Sicheng. Or Winwin as what the younger prefers. “Mr. Jung?”

“I thought we agreed to be friends and that you can only call me Jaehyun.” He smiled. Sicheng always keep him in company when the latter is not busy but unfortunately, Dr. Moon decided to take the nurse inside the office to help him with today’s session. “Well, I would call you by your first name if not for Dr. Moon.”

“What is it?” He asked voice laced with worry.

“They need you inside.”

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the outcome of jaehyun's special performance with minhyun, jinyoung and minhyuk. i was really wrecked. maybe i died. maybe this is my soul typing. but well, enjoy? lovelots.


	3. the exit

 

\--

Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still but Dr. Moon earnestly instructed him to stop fidgeting every now and then, so with shaky hands, apprehensive composure and restless soul he tried to look at the doctor’s way. He sees fatigue, stress and anxiety drawn exasperatedly all at once. Jaehyun mentally reminded himself that it wasn’t just him fighting the battle of wishing to eliminate the unceasing concern for dear dear Lee Taeyong. Hoping to vanish every single melancholic voices wickedly prowling around. He slowly threw his gaze away from the doctor to look around. Trying his best to hide the million wave of uneasiness obviously written on his face. _It is going to be okay._ He tried composing himself. _It is going to be okay_. _It is going to be okay_. Maybe this is what Taeyong means when he told him with tears on his lovely obsidian eyes about sharing the voices with the younger. _It’s not getting better. I’m not getting better. I’m just sharing all of this crap with you. You-- I’m ruining you Jaehyun! I’m ruining you… and that’s the last thing I wanted to hear._ He stood there waiting for his boyfriend to finish his monologue, idly waiting for Taeyong to finally calm himself. _It is going to be okay_. _It is going to be okay_. That was one of the many breakdowns he witnessed and luckily he is fortunate enough to not trigger the repetitive doubts. _You’ll never ruin me Hyung. You’ll never ruin me Hyung. You’ll never ruin me Hyung. You’ll never ruin me Hyung. You’ll never ruin me Hyung. You’ll never ruin me Hyung. You’ll never ruin me Hyung._ He repeatedly told Taeyong while rubbing soothing circles on his back. Clockwise. Clockwise. Counterclockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Counterclockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Counterclockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. _Always together right? **Always**. _

Sometimes, Jaehyun looks back to those days when he hadn’t met Taeyong—when the voices, constants and monochromes weren’t present on his life. Things are much more peaceful. But they are also sadder, gloomier and bluer. He wouldn’t trade saying yes to the question he was asked thrice. _Hi! I’m Lee Taeyong, do you want to go out with me? Hi! I’m Lee Taeyong, do you want to go out with me? Hi! I’m Lee Taeyong, do you want to go out with me?_ Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still and thinks about how it could have been sweeter if he said his confirmation three times too. Perfect. That would have been sweet— _Yes. Yes. Yes._

“Mr. Jung?”

That drove his mind away from the rushing train of thoughts. He turned to look at the doctor again. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still, quietly observing the scene and waiting for someone to finally tell him what to do to finally break the bubble. Which the eldest from the room fortunately did. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still but Nurse Sicheng forcefully made him sit down on one of the black swivel chairs, a meter away from the whimpering Taeyong. Winwin is seriously strong, he looks frail but the nurse can even summersault the hell out of a panicking patient so maybe manhandling confused and concerned Jaehyun is easy. Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still and wait. “Taeyong’s having a breakdown. That’s normal but don’t comfort him. Just. Don’t go near him yet.”

“What happened?” He whispered more to himself. Jaehyun saw his boyfriend from his peripheral view. Crumpled like an abandoned fetus. Thrown. Lost. Dumped. Taeyong was sitting alone in some messy gray hospital sofa bed. His face, though covered with the unordered locks, is red. Maddeningly red. Providing a different spectrum. It was heartbreaking. As heartbreaking as the scene before they shared their first I love you _s_ , but unlike last time he wasn’t allowed to count in odd numbers and pat his boyfriend just the way Taeyong likes it. There can be no lingering comfort. Clockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Counterclockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. Counterclockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise. “What happened?” This time he turned to the nurse who shrugged and just instructed him to stay quiet. Jaehyun seriously fought the sudden growing urge to run away with his boyfriend. Away from here. Away from the white bleached walls of Dr. Moon’s office. Away from the voices. Away from Dr. Moon. Away together. This. Maybe this is what Dr. Moon means when he warned Jaehyun about this _chaotic_ session.

 “Voices. Louder voices.” The doctor started his narrative. It was obvious from the tone that he is as anxious as everyone in the room is but the doctor is probably the best at concealing it. He had done this probably a lot of times, more than what Jaehyun can imagine. Dr. Moon must be a pro at this. “We’re doing some exposure and response prevention. Mr. Lee is just confronting his fearful deepest thoughts right now thus the tears. In other words, he’s basically experiencing compulsion at the moment.”

Jaehyun stayed quiet. Afraid to add more discomfort. Afraid to give the voices another reason to stay longer. Jaehyun stayed quiet. Unmoving. “Is he going to be okay?”

“After six minutes. Go to him. Do what you normally do.” _Even._ Jaehyun noted. “He’s going to be fine. We just need to trigger him a bit more so he can handle the situation without aggravating himself. Basically, we’re tiring him out. Our goal for today is to wear the thought out.”

“Is this how you’ll stop the repetitive thoughts?”

“Yes. He can’t be tired, exposed and scared at the same time. His brain would probably go to the easiest option which is the tired part. That’s basically a coping mechanism.”

Jaehyun nodded for the nth time of the day. Shaking his thoughts away. He was blindly telling himself that moving his head up and down would result to a different thought but who is he kidding. It’s really _chaotic_ but he is happy that at least it isn’t as bad as he thought it will be. “What did you tell him this time? He told me about the vegetable from the last session.” It was funny. For Jaehyun at least. They both came home that time, sprawled on the couch when suddenly Taeyong blurted out about the orange onion, pink carrot and green garlic from the doctor’s office. It was horrifying to imagine (impossible even) he told his boyfriend but Taeyong said he saw them right in front of his eyes. After a few days, Nurse Sicheng explained some scientific terms as to why the vegetable became a paraphernalia for the session but Jaehyun did not listen because he got lost into his favorite doe eyes. Speaking at him. Calling for him.

“The thought of you leaving him.”

“What?” Jaehyun asked dumbfounded. He can’t imagine a life without Taeyong and his repetitive voice what more for a life that he will leave Taeyong alone and deserted from the happiness he should feel.

Instead of the doctor, it was Winwin who told him the reason. “He gets most guilty when his thoughts drift towards you. Says that the voices are louder and scarier. And we need to continuously tire him out so the response could not be about thinking but rather just resting. Time is up. Go to your boyfriend.”

Sometimes, Jaehyun just stands still. And sometimes, he waits for the signal that the earthquake of emotions is already finished. Sometimes, he walks slowly while keeping an eye on the surroundings. Making sure that there will be no present additional threats waiting to be revealed. In a terrifying manner. Always. Jaehyun is always the one coming to wherever Taeyong is situated. Always. He is always the one taking the initiative to finally break the bubble and embrace the chaotic beauty of his boyfriend. Always. But this time, it was Taeyong who run to him. Weakly whispering the promises that will never be broken.

\--

Sometimes Jaehyun just stands still. But today isn't one of those sometimes. Because today, he is not standing. Instead, he's on his knees. Looking up at Taeyong's brown big honest orbs. Beautiful eyes capturing this equally beautiful moment. _You can do this Jaehyun. You can do this Jaehyun. You can do this Jaehyun. You can do this Jaehyun._ Sometimes, Jaehyun just stays still. Silently counting the tears elegantly flowing from his lover's eyes. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. And oh. Nine. Resisting the urge to stand up and wipe it in a way that will let him linger his palm on Taeyong's soft chiseled cheeks. And hug him. Embrace him. Like how he always does. Jaehyun nervously sighed. Every ounce of tense is evident on his stance but he shrugged it off. Playing a calm façade. Trying his best to not get too carried away because if not he'll definitely not be able to narrate all the sweet sweet words he's trying to memorize for the past three weeks.

_Hyung, it’s been two whole years since we started dating. Time sure flies really fast when you’re with someone special. I hope time takes your worries the same way time takes my breath away whenever you’re near. This is too sweet. I know. I’m corny. Trust me. I tried revising this, I even asked Doyoung hyung to edit this for me but he told me to keep things as Jaehyun as possible. I have the draft on my laptop so maybe if I screw this up, you’ll know what I really wanted to say. Hyung, I love you and I’m more than willing to spend my eternity with you. I’m willing to shush the voices and be the perfect husband to sing you to sleep when the loud agonizing voices became unbearable. Hyung, I love you and I hope you’ll spend the eternity with me too. Marry me._

_Hi, I’m Jung Jaehyun, please marry me. Hi, I’m Jung Jaehyun, please marry me. Hi, I’m Jung Jaehyun, please marry me._

Those words are what he religiously practiced countlessly in front of the mirror. Those words are what he rehearsed a thousand times in front of Mark, Doyoung and even Nurse Sicheng. Those words are what had been engraved on his memory for the past few weeks. But suddenly, his mind is only clouded with how beautiful, lovely and peaceful Taeyong looks at this specific moment. As if the painful words are bothering him no more. As if the cheesy confession he practiced just two hours prior to this very moment evaporated in the thin air along with the agonizing voices. So all Jaehyun managed to say was...  "Taeyong Hyung, marry m----."

Sometimes, Taeyong waits for Jaehyun to finally snap out of whatever discomfort he's having. Sometimes, he hopes Jaehyun would just come up to him and distract him from the voices. Furiously. So he can get his mind away. But today is not one of those sometimes. Today, Taeyong leaned down and kissed Jaehyun, the younger's confession be damned. They have forever to talk about that now. Now. Now. Now. Now.

 

 **Now**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unfortunately this really is the last chapter. but i might write a special chapter or two someday after i'm done with my uglyass departmental exams im gonna die this january so pls pray for my decaying braincells 
> 
> also, if you find errors do notify me im a really lazy bitch so i dont edit things hehehe i love you all but again i love jaeyong most


End file.
